Sunday, April 17, 2011

Another year gone by....

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When I write about my sister's passing, it's because of 2 things.

I cannot forgive myself for not going to her earlier, to be at least able to tell her just how much I love her and to say goodbye. This year brought this back to me after watching the Japanese people fight their way through the most horrible earthquake and tsunami to hit in many years, even worse in magnitude than the Haiti earthquake, worst than hurricane Katrina's devastation of New Orleans. But what struck me as very different was the way the Japanese stoically took it all in, did their best to continue with life as best they could. Something amazing in the face of devastation on a grander scale. The quiet acceptance, the pride, the courage to carry on, helping each other out. All those traits I saw in my sister's battle with cancer. And the videos of the devastation in Japan brought it all back to me as if it was just days ago that my sister passed away, quietly, with dignity.

And the second reason... I miss you Rox, so very very much. I know you are watching over me. I thank you for the gifts you send me along the way. The way people come across my path, people I can help even in a small way. I thank you for those and I hope you keep sending me more. Maybe, just maybe, this way I can redeem myself for not being there for you when you really needed me.

Relai pour la vie
Relay for Life - My sister
Her wings - Now she has real ones
1969 - 2009

Rest in peace dearest sister. I am doing my best to walk in your footsteps each and every day.

1 comment:

Karen said...

She knows you love and miss her mom. You must have faith in her to forgive yourself.

I love you very very much. Keep your chin up! :)